talking about the undead.

pictured above is one of my dear friends, Bubba Smith. no, i do not know who the gal giving everyone a seductive eye is (but i will try to find out). when he is not busy doing whatever a fine southern gentlemen does, we engage in conversation on a variety of subjects. i tried to interview him on horror related subject matters but it was coming out too cheesey for my taste. luckily, i managed to salvage this interview by interrogating him on his strategy for a very important event: the apocalypse.

Ryan: So since this blog has no theme, I can ask whatever questions I want. You asked me a similar question earlier: you wake up and you find your city abandoned. Describe your next course of action.

Bubba: 1. Arm myself with some kind of weapon 2. Find a vehicle 3. Try and get ahold of Pauly Crush

Pauly Crush*? Hahaha. Why? (EDIT: Pauly Crush is the man responsible for an infamous Orlando dance night titled 'Crush' at Backbooth)

Paul and I have discussed being ready for things like this to happen. I know he has the brains and firepower I'd need to survive.

What if you found out that he was directly responsible for this because the music at Crush melted everyone in Orlando's brains and turned them into disco dancing zombies?

1. get earplugs 2. find out if this was planned or an accident 3. destroy everything

Whose the last person we know you would want in your survival party in the event of the apocalypse?

JP** No questions asked.(EDIT: JP Marra is a local hardcore kid who is either loved or hated. There is usually no middle ground with this fellow. He currently resides in Philadelphia, PA and once encountered me at a rest stop in Georgia randomly Cool story huh?). No questions asked.

Would you feed him to the undead?

I would grind him into chum and use him for bait

A little while ago I mentioned your survival party. Name five people that you would take with you and what their duties in the party would be. We already have Pauly.

Pauly: ammunitions expert, Lance White: extensive knowledge of the undead, Bitchass Brian: driver, Charlie Hart: camping skills, You: handjobs*** (EDIT: i do not enjoy handies in any way, shape, or form. that includes distributing them.)

Charlie Hart is an outdoorsman?

yes, he's been doing tons of camping lately

For some reason, I can't picture that. Anyway, what would be the order of our deaths? Its inevitable that we all die.

FALSE. We find another survival party of babes and begin procreating to save the human race...only then do we find out that this only happened in Florida and the rest of the United States has been fine all along.

And who was responsible for Florida turning into a cess pool of zombie filth?

I'm not sure who did it, but I sure as hell know who didn't do it.....Professor Deluxe.

Final question: Where is Mike Sorel****(EDIT: all you need to know about Mike Sorel is right here) during all of this?

Clearly, he is the puppetmaster in all of this, but maybe you would recognize him by a better name....Mummentut.

my next entry is already posted on my myspace but it will be posted on here for everyone else to see. until then, take it easy.