Originally this entry was going to rank the cast of the Jersey Shore in order of importance. While I was writing on it I stumbled upon, what I feel is, a great way to sum up these people. A way that people who aren't even fans of this show can easily identify them: compare them to some of the biggest names in the movie making industry.
When I say movie making I don't mean actors. Honestly, I didn't do that because it would take too much time. As I sat eating sunflower seeds and soaking my feet in hot water the directors/producers just kept coming at a rapid rate. It was actually surprising how easy it was to think of who these people reminded me of.
Ronnie, much like M. Night, had so much potential. M. Night followed up his strong resume of The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs with lackluster efforts such as The Lady in the Water and The Village. This is exactly like Ronnie. In season one he is getting wild, fighting people, trying to court Sam, and getting thrown in jail. It looked like Ronnie was going to continue his mean streak in season two. He is making out with girls at the club, getting drunker, hooking up with Sam, and basically punching his ticket to the Adultery Hall of Fame.
Now I am not saying that I expected Ronnie to continue on his torrid path. There has to be some sort of breather. I will allow him his time toward the end of season two and the beginning of this season. But when Ronnie revealed that not only is he a master of cheating, but also verbal abuse? I got excited! How can you not get excited about "Single Ronnie" coming back?
This guy is power bombing "the love of his life's" personal items through the floor, dragging her while shes clinging to her bed for deer life, and smashing her glasses!
It was exactly like The Happening for me. When I saw the trailer it looked like it was a can't miss. You have Mark Whalberg, John Leguizamo, and Zooey Deschanel working on a pretty good premise of some sort of crisis causing people to off themselves (if you want to see The Happening for some reason, then skip over this paragraph). Ronnie falling into a deep depression over Sam leaving the house is the equivalent of the atrocious acting and trees being the cause of this epidemic.
What the hell is going on here?! Instead of grinding on girls he is grinding his teeth as Sam dances with other dudes. Instead of drinking himself to sleep he is rocking himself to sleep while drowning in tears of anguish. This isn't the Ronnie I came to know and love. I hope that Ronnie wakes up and realizes that he is on a one way ticket to The Last Airbender and Devil territory.
Arguably the most recognizable face of the Jersey Shore, Snooki has quietly had a great season. In the sports world she would no doubt be Chicago White Sox great Frank Thomas: one of the most feared players in the league even though shes in limited capacity. This season Snooki has added another fight, an arrest for disorderly conduct and public intoxication, is responsible for Deena being on the show, and has had more drunk moments than usual.Now there is nothing new about most of this (outside of the arrest). It smells like a remake to me and when I think remake, I think Michael Bay! The man responsible for remaking just about every popular horror franchise (A Nightmare on Elm St., Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th) and directing summer blockbusters (Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, Transformers, and the Bad Boys series). You know that 90% of the time you will be entertained by a Michael Bay production. Whether you're entertained by outrageous explosions, people getting their head cut off, or romantic goodbyes with Aerosmith playing in the background, you're going to leave somewhat satisfied.
Like many Michael Bay productions, Snooki has her faults. I am not sure if this should count against her but I am counting it. By informing her "tweedos" that she met her boyfriend on the latest episode, she has ruined any drama that the show will attempt to create involving her personal life. Why should I even bother paying attention to the Vinny/Snooki situation (no pun intended) at this juncture? Its kind of like how you can identify the hero, heroine, dead meat, and survivors in any of these Bay productions. It won't keep me from watching but it would be a lot better with some suspense.
Let me go on record saying that Deena is a prime example as to why they need to incorporate more new blood on this show. Her first night in the house she is showing her private parts to the Situation and inciting fights between J-Wow and Sammi. That is a pretty solid season in ONE episode! Take it a step further where she introduces the Fake Ronnie (favorite moment of the season so far), hangs with M.V.P. without causing any drama, is a worthy opponent for prank wars, and apparently has a socially unacceptable fetish involving peoples rear ends and tongues (there is literally no reason to make something like this up). It may seem like I am sucking up to her but I can't think of any moment involving Deena that was ho-hum or unsavory.
This is very reminiscent of Christophe Nolan coming out of no where and dropping Memento on us. He followed up his breakout performance with underrated gems like Insomnia, The Prestige and is now famous for revitalizing the Batman series and Inception. He is the next big thing in Hollywood so it means a lot that I am giving Deena the Nolan comparison.
Deena hasn't even realized the potential she possesses. She has only had a hook up incident with Fake Ronnie and has been rebuffed by the Situation all season. There haven't been too many (if any) drunken meltdowns and she still hasn't gotten into a fist fight herself. We should all cross our fingers and hope that she does not go the route of The Deer Hunter director Michael Cimino who flamed out after winning Best Director for the aforementioned film.
The next two were pretty difficult to cast. I ended up settling on Guillmero Del Toro for Sammi because they both share one thing in common: their body of work is visually pleasing. I may hate to see Sam bitching, moaning, and filing her nails but she is very easy on the eyes. One can say the same about the majority of Guillmero Del Toro's ventures. I watched Hell Boy II multiple times because of his work with the make up and effects. They make it worth my while and Del Toro does have Pans Labyrinth up his sleeve (much like Sam has season two and her tendency to fight).
Sammi has had some good moments on the series but this season she is mostly an annoyance. She is piggy backing on a lot of Ronnie's antics instead of creating her own. The fight at the beginning of the season is where she peaked. When Sam left the show the house, outside of Ronnie, didn't miss a beat. Everyone went on with their lives. There really is no need to bring Sammi back. She is either going to come back and break up with Ronnie for good or we can look forward to seeing Ronnie drag her to the Coliseum in Rome for a fight to the death.
Most of the rumors I have heard about cast shake ups say that the Situation is done with the Shore after season four. They may as well just get rid of all the other dead weight if season four is anything like this one. Give Ron and Sam the boot, bring in new people, keep the show alive. I could go on and on about this but its probably another blog update in its own. I will save that for the season wrap up I plan on writing.
I didn't want to but I decided to group M.V.P. (Mike aka The Situation. Vinny. Paulie. for all you non-Jersey Shore heads). There is just no way I can compare all three of them this season. They seem like supporting players. That is unfortunate to me because when they're on screen they drive the show.
Much like Apatow, I can't think of a bad M.V.P. moment. Everything they have produced this season (the grenade horn, bringing the stalker home, and feeding people in the middle of sex) has been hilarious and entertaining. Vinny is a mack daddy, Paulie is a comedian, and the Situation has been offering relationship advice for the majority of the season. He is probably the Funny People to Paulie and Vinnie's Anchorman and Superbad: a drama/comedy that probably should have stuck to being funny.
The lack of MVP actually reflects most of my frustration with this season. The Situation has been a ghost, Paulie has just been throwing out one liners, and Vinny is consistently expressing his disgust for the Sam/Ron situation while getting it in with random Shore girls. The show doesn't need the constant drama to survive when it has the antics of these three gentlemen. Give them more camera time.
J-Wow was even more difficult then Sam to cast. This season has been pretty low key for Jenny. She fought Sam, dumped Tom, rescued her dogs from her trashed house, made up with Sam like nothing happened, and is now all about local celebrity Roger. Cheesy love plots, rescuing damsels in distress, and violence? Sounds like Robert Rodriguez (From Dusk Til Dawn, Machete, Grindhouse, and Predators) to me.
I know this is the biggest reach of all but cut me some slack here. Its difficult to cast Jenni but she does fit with Rodriguez. She, like most of the women in his films, is barely dressed, is a bad ass and she also gives off that black widow spider vibe in terms of her relationships.
Sadly, J-Wow has disappointed me for most of the season. The stuff with Tom wasn't a surprise. You could see the writing on the wall from the opening episode and her going on dates behind his back is never a good thing. It seems like she has kind of just laid in the cut in terms of being a player in the house. She was more concerned with finding love for Snooki then she was getting wild. Hopefully in season four we will see her re-invent herself on the show. She will be single for the first time in a while, lets just hope she is ready to mingle *rim shot*.
I plan on coming back and doing a season three recap when the season is over. There are a lot of Jersey Shore related topics I want to touch on but haven't. Maybe I will even do an episode recap on Friday or something of that nature.
Another show I want to touch on is something my girlfriend is directly responsible for: The Bad Girls Club. Yes, the guy points are fading away with every sentence typed about this program but I care not. This show is ridiculous and its must see television if you enjoy watching women in their mid to late twenties act twelve.
Anywho, that is all for this entry. Thanks for reading and I will be back in a few days with another entry.
